Massive f**king takeaway ruins romantic evening

A FAMILY suspect their dad loves his new pressure washer more than his children.

The recent arrival of Martin Bishop’s high-performance machine caused an intense emotional reaction that has taken loved ones by surprise.

Son Tom said: “I’d always just thought he was emotionally stunted. I’d made my peace with it over the years.

“Like when I completed my PhD and he just sort of nodded, or when he said ‘well done’ when my son was born.”

However the 1400W pressure washer has awoken a previously unseen passion in Bishop, who cannot stop talking lovingly about it.

Wife Margaret said: “I swear there were tears in his eyes the other day when he was telling John from next door what a difference it had made to the drive.

“He says he’s now considering a 6-in-1 steam cleaner to sort out the carpets. I’m considering a divorce.”