HATING your job? Pay too low? House cramped? Didn’t really plan on living with a newborn when you were 56? With this and more you too can look a f**king state.
Unkempt hair
Everyone gets flyaways, but cultivating a head of straw-like hair like mine requires a bit of extra work. Try to look like you’ve always just had to make an undignified leap from a bedroom window after the lady’s husband burst in, even when you haven’t.
Wear ill-fitting suits
My good friend Dom scorns the suit in favour of loose-fitting tracksuit bottoms, but you can look similarly awful simply by wearing clothes that don’t fit. Whether it’s a button-up shirt that strains around the stomach or a jacket that swamps your shoulders, nothing says ‘that man is clearly troubled’ like badly worn clothes.
Embrace your dark circles
Carrie has offered me concealer, but I think my bloodshot, ringed eyes make me look Churchillian. Thatcher got by on four hours sleep a night and all it did was drive her batshit insane. Sleep in mascara to intensify the under-eye bag look the night before PMQs.
Don’t fix your teeth
I was born in America but refuse to embrace their passion for dental care. My crooked grimace speaks to the great British public, reminding them that my policy of getting Brexit done will take them back to the good old days before we had fluoride in the water.
Catch coronavirus
The number one way to make your outward appearance deteriorate – fast – is to catch a life-threatening virus that you originally downplayed the severity of. And no need to shake hands with hospital patients because it’s now available in a broad range of establishments, from your local pub to a humble Nando’s.
tinyurlis.gdv.gdv.htu.nuclck.ruulvis.netshrtco.detny.im
مقالات مشابه
- گوگل صفحه 4 صفحه 4 XL ارزان تر از همیشه در چند خرده فروشان
- 6 از جنجالیترین اسباب بازی جناسها پیدا خواهید کرد
- روستایی راهنمای نفرت دوم-صاحبان خانه
- موتورولا یکی Fusion+ نقد و بررسی
- چه چیزی در مورد مواد شیمیایی بسیار جذاب است؟
- سازمان دیده بان هند Realme 6i اطلاعیه اینجا زندگی می کنند
- موتورولا یکی Fusion+ برای بررسی
- هفتگی نتایج نظرسنجی: vivo X50 Pro+ برنده بیش از طرفداران به عنوان آن را نداشت دست کم گرفتن چیپ ست
- تزریق Dettol و یک تخت برنزه: نگاهی به تهمت درمان
- شرکت صادرات و واردات کالاهای مختلف از جمله کاشی و سرامیک و ارائه دهنده خدمات ترانزیت و بارگیری دریایی و ریلی و ترخیص کالا برای کشورهای مختلف از جمله روسیه و کشورهای حوزه cis و سایر نقاط جهان - بازرگانی علی قانعی